A show of cards

When all is revealed,
and my cards are laid bare
for you to see
will you turn away with repulsion?
You must understand
That you have quite a fan,
Adorer, lover and a lusty eye
Who will look for you
As for a wish which did not come true
If you must turn away.
You are meant to stay forever, by the way
And not leave me alone.
But if you must
I will cry.
Aren't you my baby?
I will hold you tight, and keep you close. Take half your warmth. Burn you with kisses. And love you all I can.
But if you must,
mend your heart and move on,
and not love this sick person
please go and save yourself.

As I please (Not for your entertainment)

Boxing its way through heaps of routine desires every time a blank page was looked at, the need to acknowledge on goings of my mind has finally usurped my being. You do not need to read this. I do not see a reason why you should. But hey, I have been sorted out. I do not deny that this has taken a little help from one little friend, but the fear is gone. Paranoia has turned to love.
I know the help part makes this whole thing sound cliched, but to those who've read my stuff(that makes one, or two, at most) , remember Step One? This just helped.And I know I'm writing like a teenaged girl again, but this is a personal blog, right?
I know that I don't like fear now. I know because I have known it very closely for quite a long time.
This could have been an e mail, now that I think about it. But who wants to read about other people? Assuming people don't.
But. This is my blog. Yay! So feel free to get lost if you don't want to read about other people.
Moreover, I am feeling pretty nihilistic again. All the super practicality gone to the dustbin sort of nihilistic. But in a good way. I do want to create something while I'm here. Not that I didn't want to, before I started feeling so light. But today it's in a more hedonistic way and maybe in a less doing something for the world way.
But well.

the wandering bird has flown to her nest
leaving the pond to the fishes